Broken…Do Not Use

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Broken, DO NOT use me.
Have you ever feel this way?

I have. 

Healing from brokenness is not fun.

Psalm 34:18…The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Pslam 147:3…He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

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There was this beautiful lady in church Sunday. Absolutely the sweetest elderly woman I have ever seen.

At the alter call…our pastor asked anyone that needed prayer to please come. Our prayer team was ready and available.

This sweet lady began to make her way to the front. I noticed she was moving slow and limping a bit. She came from the back of the congregation.

I could tell the walk was tiring and that she was in great pain.

I watched her wrestle back and forth…debating whether or not it was worth it to keep walking the walk.
It was such a struggle.

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But she was determined and made it with perseverance.
When she reached the front she was met with great disappointment when there was no one available to pray with her.

And I saw her break…as she turned and gave up.

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But then everything changed. 

A woman in the front row encouraged her to go back up and she turned around tears streaming down her cheeks.

Our pastor saw her and instantly was available to her.
I have never in my life seen such a release of pain as she fell into his arms.

It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever been privileged to witness. No one knew her prayer need. No one knew the circumstances but we were all praying over her in that moment. Her pain was ours to bear.

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When she returned to her seat she had peace.
As if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

I felt God tell me that I was supposed to continue pray for her.

Absolutely, God!

I felt Him tell me that I should tell her that I was praying for her.

What?

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I want you to know that this sort of thing is completely out of my comfort zone!!!!
I thought, “Surely, God is NOT really asking me to do this, right? I don’t even know her”!!

NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT!

Our congregation is very big. The end of our services are like a stampede of cattle. A mass exodus! There was no way I was going to catch sight of her.

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We walked out. I didn’t see her.
We made it across the courtyard. No sight of her.
We talked about where to go to lunch and by then I’d totally forgot about it and put it out of my mind.

We made it all the way to the car.
I was standing there watching my teens debate about who was sitting where…(I hope I’m not the only one whose children fight over who gets to sit in certain seats)…
when I see something out of the corner of my eye.

THERE SHE IS.

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I wrestled back and forth…debating whether or not it was worth it to walk this walk.
It was such a struggle.

And then, casting all cares aside…I decided to

…Trust Him
…Obey Him
…Follow Him

She didn’t know me from Adam, but with much fear and trepidation…I approached her.
“Excuse me, Ma’am”?
“Yes”?
“I just want you to know that I’m praying for you.”

Silence…

“Oh NO”…I thought. “She thinks I’m a crazy person”!!

I had to force myself to look at her because all I really wanted to do was crawl                    in a hole and die!

But, when I met her eyes…I saw tears.

“Thank you”, she said.

…and it was truly one of the most transforming moments of my life.

I realized upon reflection just how applicable her story is to my own walk with Jesus.

Sometimes…it is a struggle.
Sometimes…this walk is downright painful.
Sometimes…it takes great perseverance to follow Him.
But, I am NEVER sorry I made the journey.

It is completely worth it.

Love,
Deborah

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4 thoughts on “Broken…Do Not Use

  1. Thank you for sharing, & following Gods prompting. Some times when your the broken person all it takes to get thru one more day is, to know that just one person thinks your important enough to care about.

  2. Thank you Deborah, this really spoke to me today. Reminding me that it is often through my brokenness that God can actually use me. It is a struggle because in the midst of the broken process you don’t actually see or feel how He uses you. Thanks for the reminder that it is part of the journey and whether we are walking or crawling it does not matter, as long as we are going the right direction. Johnne

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