The Comparison Trap

A and O

There are some things as a homeschooling mom, and in life in general for that matter, that I have had to learn the hard way. The really hard way.

One of those things is…not to compare myself with other moms.

I am an optimistic bubbly person by nature.  People would describe me as positive, friendly, and fun. But nothing steals my joy quicker than the feeling of inadequacy. Feeling like everyone is getting it right but me. Have you ever felt that way? Can you relate?

You know what? It’s a lie. Really.

My favorite Bible verse is Isaiah 30:21: Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying…”This is the way; Walk in it'”.

comparison

I would look to the right and see that #1 Super Mom’s kids were doing this and that, but…we weren’t. And I would think…

“Should we be doing this and that, too?”

Then I’d look to the left and see that #2 Super Mom was using this fabulous amazing curriculum. But…I wasn’t. And I would worry…

“Should we be using it, too?”

After a while I noticed that my joy was…gone. I wasn’t that optimistic bubbly mom anymore. I wasn’t positive and friendly. I was caught in the comparison trap, and to be completely honest with you…I had a hard time getting out. I was miserable. Full of second guessing myself….of insecurity…and self doubt.

Bethou

I think we must ask God for His vision in all things, (homeschooling included), and then trust Him with it. But, I also think it’s difficult to obey the vision He gives us when it sometimes means going against the current. To give ourselves the freedom and permission to forge the path He gives us. To bravely pioneer a journey that is uniquely ours. Especially, when so many moms are eager to sell you on what they are doing.

Guess what? It may work for them and that is truly wonderful…but it may not work for you…AT ALL!

AND THAT’S OKAY!

There are a lot of well-meaning moms out there who live to give you their advice. Learn to  to glean what you need from them and let the rest go.

And while we are being transparent with each other…let me confirm a suspicion you might already have about homeschooling moms: Yes, we are ALL scared of messing it up. We all have seasons of insecurity and self doubt. We are completely privileged to be able to take all of it to God and pray, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Leafpray

Pray…pray…pray.

Remember that favorite Bible verse of mine? Did you catch the last part of it?

your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying…”This is the way; Walk in it'”.

That voice…that still small voice…God’s beautiful comforting voice…is what you are to listen for. He’s how you get out of the comparison trap. He’s how you muster courage and stand taller than you thought you could. He’s the joy giver!

I am happy for #1 Super Mom, by the way. She’s my sister in Christ and I want to encourage her. Because down deep inside…I know she’s scared to death she’s messing it all up, too.  She might even be caught up in the comparison trap herself, and I know what that feels like.

Don’t we all?

Sincerely,

Deborah

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10 thoughts on “The Comparison Trap

  1. Thank you Deborah. It’s such a sneaky trap, I avoid it & do really well, relax with being happy where I’m at & then realize some how I have ended right back up in it….your right it really does steal your joy.

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